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  • Writer's pictureAmy Frazier

Is This Really Paradise?

Updated: Nov 19, 2019

“For He satisfies the longing soul, And fills the hungry soul with goodness.” Psalms‬ ‭107:9‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

We’d been watching the app for almost five years trying to find the “farm of our dreams”. Almost every night before I would go to bed, I‘d check my search for ten acres or more, within our budget, and close to civilization, if at all possible. Buying land in the Oklahoma City area and beyond was quite difficult. There were many properties that could possibly work, but for the closest convenience, you would have to drive at least twenty to thirty miles to hit a gas station with the only dinning option of fried burritos that have sat under a heating lamp all day, and a stale pizza pocket. There was one property, however, that seemed too good to be true and when we drove out there, that proved to be the case as it was directly across from a newly developed cemetery.

As Jared and I were both on our realtor apps, we noticed this 1975 “A Frame” home on seventeen acres with a shop, a barn, a cabin and an in-ground swimming pool. Our dreams had come true! This was the property. When the house was for sale, it was during the winter when all the grass was dead and tree limbs, bushes were no where to be seen. It was beautiful to say the least and we put in our offer. When the offer was accepted, we had to wait a little while longer for inspections and financing, of course. By the time we were ready to close the deal, we went by for another drive by. You guys know what I mean, once you buy a property, you drive by it like a thousand times just to see it. On one of those missions, we drove by, with a couple of weeks left till closing, and the grass was as high as my knee cap. Now I’m short, but still! There was a lot of rain that fell within one week during the spring.

At that moment we both had a pit. That grass had to get mowed and fast. We contacted our realtor and the sellers to see about mowing it, but the seller was not interested, so we had to. When we arrived on the property we saw the grass, the out of control bushes, flowers of all kinds springing up with weeds around our ankles and we were overwhelmed! Our dreams had come true alright, but it wasn’t what we had expected. We mowed and trimmed for days, and I’m talking days. We do love it out here but sometimes when you put something so important, it ends up not being everything you thought it was going to be.

In my last blog, I talked about David writing Psalm 63. I focused mainly on verse one, but today I’m going to go on to verses two through five. David was traveling through the wilderness. Along his journey, God was creating a heart within David to see the world around him as meaningless, less sufficient and in need of Living Water. He had experienced disappointments many times, from the eyes of his family considering him as a shepherd, “just keeping the sheep”, then rejection and jealousy from Saul and having to hide for countless days and nights without a home. David was familiar with sadness and seeing the world around him as less. But God was doing something mighty in this. God was creating a heart cry within David. In this cry, David had to make a choice, would he dwell in the lacking and follow the ache, or meditate on what he knew of God and let that lead him to freedom? We have choices too, you know.

David writes in Psalm 63:2-5 (NASV), “Thus I have seen You in the sanctuary, to see Your power and Your glory. Because Your lovingkindness is better than life, my lips will praise You. So I will bless You as long as I live; I will lift up my hands in Your Name. My soul is satisfied as with marrow and fatness, and my mouth offers praises with joyful lips.” What a heart David had that was created out of disappointments! A heart that cried for righteousness, as it had seen the righteousness of an all powerful God.

I see this in my life, when I see God’s lovingkindness shown to a sinner like me, it‘s convicting. After many times of second, third, and a thousand chances, I can’t help but praise Him. I can’t help but lift my arms in expressions of praise. I can’t help but meditate on these attributes of my Savior. When this happens, my soul, my innermost being is truly satisfied because I know the only fulfillment, the only One who doesn’t disappoint, and the source of Living Water is Christ alone.

Last Sunday my pastor was preaching out of Luke 9. He spoke about denying self and taking up our cross. It hit me, the secret to fullness, the secret to a happy heart, the secret to God being my “marrow and fatness“ is truly denying every form of myself....

May we continually feast on Jesus knowing that the world around us, it’s weeds, out-grown bushes, and tree limbs are inconsistent and will never measure up to our All-sufficient Savior.

From a grateful guest,

A Traveler Just Passing Through....


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